


ECHOflix and Chill

by Vandereer



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Agender Character, Oral Sex, Other, PWP, Smut, agender people can have vaginas deal w it, cute dumb beanpoles who are just as awkward as each other let's be real here, handjobs, zer0's first time and they dont know how to mcfuckin deal with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 14:22:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19007572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vandereer/pseuds/Vandereer
Summary: Rhys is privy to one of the rarest sights in the universe. Not a vault opening, not the fall of a megalomaniac’s capitalist empire, but just what the hell lies under Zer0 the badass(assin)’s suit.





	ECHOflix and Chill

**Author's Note:**

> Zer0 has a vagina in this.  
> Deal with it, deal with it, #dealwithit  
> I have no fucking clue what I’m doing… For all four of you who want more Zerhys smut... I got you boo, shhh it's okay. Enjoy.

Rhys sighs as he wrings his hands, preparing himself for a conversation he doesn’t want to have. He’s staring at Zer0’s elegant neck as they sit on the couch in the Old Haven Atlas facility, thankfully now cleared out of blood and dead bodies with their help. Rhys never expected himself to achieve domesticity with a highly trained assassin whose face he’s not yet seen, but now that he has, it’s been pretty damn nice.

Their living room is a largish circular space with a big TV and a long couch curved around it, probably some kind of employee rest area in the past, but lately it’s just been the two of them, free to cuddle and fool around on as much as they want.

And they  _ have _ fooled around a lot. Zer0 has had their fingers inside him more times than either of them can count, and yet so far Rhys has been the only one getting naked when they sleep together. He understands perfectly why. Even though Zer0 is his lover, he’s not entitled to know what’s under their helmet and suit anymore than anyone else on Pandora.

And yet their relationship is starting to feel kinda one-sided because of it. 

Rhys has wanted to broach the subject with them for weeks now, something about Zer0 not even taking off their gloves when they touch him prods at an insecurity Rhys didn’t even know that he has. He’s spent the entire day unable to focus on anything but psyching himself up for this conversation, and missed out on a lot of important work he could be doing.

“Zer0, can we talk?” Rhys says, while cringing slightly at his own choice of words.

“Of course Rhys.” Zer0 says, not bothering to lapse into Haiku when it’s just the two of them hanging out in their living quarters. They calmly flip through a newspaper spread across their lap. Whatever negative connotations come with the words ‘we need to talk’ are lost on them, and he’s a little glad.

Rhys leans over the couch and walks his fingers along Zer0’s shoulder. They’re wearing a fluffy pastel-pink turtleneck sweater that’s making it even harder to say what he needs to say. 

"We’ve been together what, a few months now? And we’ve had a lot of sex. A lot of  _ really good _ sex...” He pauses to find the words, wondering how Zer0 manages to find such silly clothes and make them look so  _ good,  _ the sweater would be offensive on anyone else, but it clings to their lean frame in all the right places. Rhys wants to put his hands under the stupid thing so badly, to feel their skin rather than just the fabric covering it. He also wants to kiss them in a way that doesn't involve smacking his head against hard plexiglass, but maybe that's an issue for another day.

“You want to make love?” Zer0 says, after patiently waiting for him to finish his sentence. “You don’t have to beat around the bush with me Rhys.”

They flash up a winking face and bonk their helmet against his cheek in what constitutes a kiss in their relationship. Rhys chuckles and braces himself to ask the question he’s been too anxious to ask all damn day.

“Zer0 I want to make love to you, I want - I want to see you naked. That’s what I’m getting at here.”

Their helmet flashes up with a (...) that lingers so long Rhys starts to get an uncomfortable tingle at the base of his spine.

"You can trust me, right?" Rhys says, with a nervous laugh creeping into his voice. The way Zer0’s silence lingers doesn’t help the bubble of anxiety in the pit of his stomach.

"The others make constant allusions to what lies between my legs.” Zer0 says finally. “It has gotten as you might say ‘old’."

Rhys assumes the ‘others’ in question is the other Vault Hunters and residents of Sanctuary. He’s hardly surprised that bawdy humour isn't uncommon in that place, where going to the basement and shooting the legs off Hyperion soldiers is considered just another way to kill time.

"You don't think I would make fun of you, do you?"

"No, I don't believe you are that sort of person. And yet…"

Zer0 folds their arms and their shoulders lift up and down in a sigh. Rhys moves around the couch and sits at Zer0’s side, he gently strokes their upper arm while resting his head against their shoulder. Getting them to open up using words never works in Rhys’ experience, so he waits, watching the side of their helmet and wondering what kind of things they’re thinking about. The black of their faceplate is like the dark unfathomable depths of the ocean, the white scratches the foam and waves.

Rhys feels more than hears the thoughtful rumble in Zer0’s chest and they finally turn to look at him.

“You promise you will never say a thing to anyone, even a hint?” Zer0 says.

“I promise.” Rhys fights to keep a big, stupid grin off his face as he leans to kiss Zer0 under their chin.

They sigh and get to their feet, pulling Rhys after them towards their bedroom.

“So it’s okay?” 

“Yes, come on. Before I change my mind.”

 

*

 

Zer0 lies down on the spacious executive bed and there’s a kind of tension in their frame as Rhys gets on top of them, placing sloppy kisses down their face plate. It’s unusual for them, Zer0 is usually the one on top, happy to finger him until he can’t breathe or circle their long fingers around his cock to satisfy him. He’s wondered what touching Zer0 would be like so much, played so many different scenarios over in his head but now that it’s finally happening, he doesn’t even know where to start.

“So uh… How do you want to do this?” Rhys says.

Zer0 lies back on their bed and displays an (?) followed by an exaggerated shrug. Rhys straddles Zer0’s hips and runs his hands across their stomach. Even under the fluffy sweater he can feel rippling muscles.

“J-just stop me if I uh- if you don’t want me to touch you in… in places.”

Zer0’s shoulders shudder in a way that Rhys recognizes as a chuckle and the (?) changes to a (!) as he slips his hand under their sweater to touch their stomach. 

The feeling of warm skin and hard muscles under his hand makes a little gasp come out of Rhys and blood rushes to his cheeks. He shifts the sweater halfway up their body to get a look at them. He idly thinks how strange it is that they've been together for so long and this is the first real look he’s had at their body. He’s not disappointed when he sees their smooth skin, grey tinged with light pink, their absurdly muscular abs and the sharp jut of their hip-bones. Rhys leans down and kisses their skin between their abs where a belly button would usually be. He can feel Zer0 breathing heavily as he fumbles to undo Zer0’s belt, and for a moment presses his cheek to their abs to feel more of their warmth.

His hand tugs at Zer0’s silly cream slacks they borrowed from Rhys’ discard pile and Zer0’s breath hitches as he starts to pull their pants down.

“You okay?” Rhys says, glancing up. For once they don’t project an emoji and merely give him a hesitant nod. 

The sight of their bare waist and muscular thighs makes Rhys’ cock start to throb. He raises an eyebrow as he tugs their pants off completely and tosses them aside.

He doesn’t know what kind of weird alien-esque biology he was expecting, his mind has had more than enough time to speculate. But for some reason ‘vagina’ would have been dead last on his list of guesses.

Soft little feathers cover it where hair would be on a human, Rhys runs his fingers over it and Zer0’s thighs tremble.

"Huh. Wow…" Rhys murmurs. “I wasn’t expecting uh…”

"What  _ were _ you expecting?" Zer0 says, their voice breathy and low as Rhys swipes a finger lightly between their folds.

"I don't know… Tentacles?"

Zer0 shifts uncomfortably and projects; (¬_¬).

“Sorry, ignore me.”

Rhys swallows back his nervousness and presses his mouth to Zer0’s thigh, kissing slowly inward. He’s slightly flattered to find them already slick and ready before he can even touch them.

When he presses his mouth into them he groans into the tender pink skin, something about finally getting to taste Zer0 makes his head swim and his hand reach down to squeeze himself through his pants. Zer0 groans too, low in their throat, and he glances up to catch a quick (o///o) displayed on their faceplate as they stare down at him.

He slowly strokes himself while letting his tongue wander, exploring what parts make Zer0 shudder the most. What he assumes to be their clit hardens as he moves his mouth over it and flicks with his tongue. He’s happy to hear more breathy gasps, and see Zer0’s long fingers curling into the sheets.

Some of the tension ebbs out of Zer0 and Rhys feels their hips moving closer to meet his tongue, Rhys puts his arms under their thighs and quickly sneaks a hand under to squeeze their butt. They have a really nice butt. Zer0 utters a small snorting laugh at the maneuver and Rhys smiles as it turns into a groan.

There’s something like pleading as they stare down at him, urging him to hurry as they press their hips closer into his face, but Rhys moves slower, moving his tongue in languid circles around their clit and feeling the muscles in their thighs twitch. He knows he’s driving them crazy but it’s too fucking good to hurry, too startling to hear all these new and beautiful half-formed noises rumble through Zer0’s body.

When he swipes his tongue, slow and hard across them, Zer0 shudders and grinds out a long ‘nnn!’ like they’re clenching their teeth. Their back arches and their thighs close in around his head

It’s almost hard to breathe as he repeats the movement faster and harder each time. His jaw and tongue is cramping up badly, he wants to pull back and take a break, but Zer0’s long fingers wind into his hair to keep him in place.

He can feel Zer0 looking at him, their moans becoming so intense they sound like they’re in pain. As Zer0 comes, they squeeze his head so tightly between their thighs that Rhys wonders if he’s going to have his neck snapped. A part of him doesn’t mind as he frantically strokes himself in rhythm with Zer0’s ragged moans.

Slowly Zer0 releases their shaky grip on his head, and Rhys winces as he straightens up, he has a crimp in his neck and his mouth is covered in Zer0’s come. He’s never seen anything as beautiful as they look right now, shaking and breathing hard with the aftershocks of their orgasm running through their body.

"Um, Zer0? You okay?"

The word ERROR flashes up followed by  _ ‘rebooting projection system’ _ and a rapidly scrolling series of commands.

Rhys chuckles and wipes his mouth off on the back of his hand.

"Guessing that means you enjoyed yourself?"

"Yes… thank you Rhys" Zer0 whispers. After a couple of seconds they project; (^_^).

He plants a big kiss on the side of Zer0’s helmet and he's surprised to see them pulling off one of their gloves. The skin is lilac-grey underneath and the nails look like they might have been talons once, before being filed down to fit easily inside gloves. They reach down to touch Rhys and the contact of their bare hand almost makes him lose it there and then. He bites down hard on his lip to stop himself, wanting to savour this moment as long as fucking possible. The assassin has done this so many times Rhys has lost count, but something about the taste of his lover still on his tongue and the tight squeeze of hands soft from years of wearing gloves make him arch his back and howl Zer0’s name.

When he recovers, he's made a fine mess of Zer0’s thighs, but they don’t seem to mind. He’s shuddering and half-collapsed with his face pressed into the dumb pink sweater, unable to do much but let Zer0 stroke his hair until he can roll off them.

“I am sorry if I made you feel uncertain around me Rhys,” Zer0 says quietly, “it has been a while since I’ve been able to trust anyone like this.”

Rhys is just sorry he doubted them for even a minute. He slings a leg lazily over Zer0’s and presses himself closer to them, smiling into their neck.

“I love you Zer0.”

As usual, the only response he ever needs is reflected as a reddish-pink glow from the depths of the black faceplate;

 

(<3)

 

_ End _

 

***

**Author's Note:**

> *50 second long fart noise*  
> WE HORNY ON MAIN THIS WEEK  
> I’ve never written Zerhys in my life, hope s’good.  
> Thanks to LoganG for sharing their Zer0 headcanons and making this possible to write in the first place.


End file.
